I personally believe that Egypt imports too much shit from China and it needs to start domesticating for the sake of its economy… Right after we import one last thing: Single’s Day.

In the 90s, a group of Chinese university students came up with Guānggùn Jié, which literally translates into “bare sticks holiday”. If you haven’t heard that expression before, a bare branch according to Chinese norms, as far as I know, denotes those who are single but manage to raise families on their own. Celebrated on 11.11 of every year to designate singles with the recurring digit ‘1’, Single’s Day is an occasion to party and socialize with other single people. That bunch graduated and made it into a nation-wide thing.

If you are celebrating Single’s Day, by morning you would have four deep-fried dough sticks and one steamed stuffed bun for breakfast, representing the date 11.11. By night you would head to the nearest party and bring out your inner social butterfly.

Let me now tell you why we need this. Valantine’s Day is not only misunderstood and made exclusive to couples, it is so heavily branded that it really does hurt my eyes and brain. Moreover, major corporations have started taking advantage of this holiday and major sales take place on that day. We need more discounts. Right? Right. It is also a lovely way to dilute the passive-aggressive hate and stigma we Egyptians have against being single. Maybe then the excuse/urge for sexual harassment would fade out.

Case rested.