We all crave that distinct feeling of belonging to someone else, the warmth of love, and the urge to fall madly in it, stay in it, and reenact our own version of The Notebook. Hell, we’d even settle for reenacting Twilight.
But, the reality is, most of the time we end up with broken hearts and longing or just fall out as a couple. It takes a while, but then we find another. The question is why do we always have to ruin a lovely thing like happy uncommitted flirtation and turn it into an agonizing and damaging obsession? Why can’t we pause at the craving, the sultry glances, and the flirtatious laughter?
Let’s list the pros of flirtationships for a minute. You can both maintain a friendship and have a special bond. You are in no way committed and can freely exchange glances or have the hots for someone else. You are guaranteed a perennial ego boost as long as someone finds you attractive. Whenever you feel down, you will freely be able to lean on them for a quick psychological fix. Granted, you won’t hold hands or enjoy that feeling of wholeness, of fulfillment; but they also won’t bug you about why you didn’t call when you said you would either.
In relationships, however, things are a lot more complicated. Anniversary presents, Valentine’s gifts, birthday gifts, and the list goes on and on. Too much waste of good money that you could otherwise have spent on a book instead (unless you were buying a book as a gift for your significant other, in which case we have to admit you are kinda lucky). Also, so as not to shit around, we live in Egypt; the probability of you getting some action or getting laid by your significant other doesn’t pass the 25% margin.
At best, you will get some action in private. But, more often that not, phrases like “hey, don’t touch me in public” and “my sister thinks we are not good for each other” will be the soundtrack to your relationship. Drama is an integral part of any relationship, even the healthiest ones. So, I hope you are happy with your relationship and the added sexual frustration. Then comes the biggest drag of all: are we ever getting married?
And the real issue isn’t even all of the above. The real issue is that from our teenage years till our mid twenties, we are constantly seeking something that’s probably never going to mature in us before we reach our late twenties. We cramp our thoughts with longing and the love of love when, rather, we should be trying to understand ourselves and to figure out what we want to do with our lives. Instead, we indulge in foolish love and immature affection because we don’t want to be the only single person in the group.
Flirtationships won’t give you that much of a headache, they won’t be a huge distraction, and will assert independence – you really don’t need anyone else to make you happy. Your soulmate, or the missing pizza slice in your circle as John Green would call it, will still be there; you’ll find them even without running around searching for them and trying to turn every fling into a fairytale. Get your head straight, go out and meet some nice cool people, spend the night flirting, and go back home happy about it. When the time is right you’ll know (no, butterflies aren’t the definitive sign).