If ever there was an award for bullshitting your way out of awkward or uncomfortable situations, Egyptians would undoubtedly triumph with their uniquely devised excuses. Let’s face it, as Egyptians, we’ve tailored excuses for every occasion, from being late to your best friend’s birthday to missing your exam… here are seven of our favourite excuses:
“El Donya Za7ma Moooot”
Almost every Egyptian has spent what seems like an eternity stuck on the Ring Road or Sixth of October Bridge to the point where being stuck in traffic has become the most logical and believable excuse that can be given. Thus, Egyptians tend to take advantage of the car-infested streets to buy them some time when they’re running late for – well, just about anything.
One of the more risky excuses if you’re the sort of person who tends to think, ” I might be jinxing myself by using this as an excuse and get an into an actual accident one day and then if I do, I’ll regret doing this.” But then there are those who add, “Eehh, whatever,” to the end of that thought process.
“I Have to Chill With My Parents”
Works every single time because as we all know, in Egypt, family come first. With this excuse, you are not grounded, your parents are not sick, nothing is wrong… you simply just have to spend some time with your parents. Sometimes we do it to avoid hanging out with certain people, sometimes we do it because we are broke, and other times we do it because we actually have to. Either way, cheers to our lovely parents for always being there for us – even if we use them as an excuse to get out of things from time to time.
“Yabny Ana Mas7oul Fashkh!”
“Mas7oul f eih?” one might ask… well, simply proceed to answer by referring to every single little detail happening in your life at the moment. The person who initially asked now can’t wait for you to shut up. Whether you’re too busy trying to reach a new Candy Crush level, or if you’re catching up on Game of Thrones, it doesn’t matter – you are just mas7oul! If there’s anything Egyptians understand, it’s el sa7la…
“I Have to Take Fosdo2 to the Vet”
“Dude, who’s Fosdo2? Since when do you have a dog?” Yup, surprise your friends with your new dog who you absolutely must look after. “Fosdo2 is my best friend and the only one who cheers me up when I’m down and I have to be there for him when he’s sick.” This excuse works with any kind of pet, from a turtle to your annoying little brother.
“I Have to Go to the Airport”
Anyone traveling to/from the country is a valid excuse to use for skipping unwanted social events. It’s our duty, as Egyptians, to pick up and drop off people from and to the airport, from your third cousin on your mother’s side to your brother’s friend’s little sister’s best friend. Also, everybody knows that the Airport is Cairo’s ‘black hole’ – once you go, you’re gone for the day.
“To be Honest, I Could, but I Just Don’t Want To”
If you’ve run out of excuses or are just too lazy to think of anything, you can always just fall back on brutal honesty. You do you, bro.