Every year, Ramadan manages to bring out the weirdest sides of people. Thursday morning, you will walk into your office to find 7 different specimens waiting for you. So, to avoid any surprises and unwanted friction, we thought we ought to remind you of last year.
Specimen 1 – El dysfunctional
You came across this person on your way to your office on the Ring Road, so confused that he was looking for any exit to end his misery. You also found this person in your office, with a crashed OS because he’s been pressing all the buttons at once for 5 minutes straight.
Specimen 2 – El btesta3bat
She wasn’t really tired, but she’s been abusing the hell out of the Ramadan corporate sympathy. She was hanging around the office making a year’s worth of small talk, but doing no work. That person has also not been fasting in the conventional sense. A smoke or two never hurt nobody was her Ramadan mantra.
Specimen 3 – El haymout 3ala segara
You noticed him exhaling heavily every few minutes; not knowing what to do with his hands, he would touch his lips often with his thumb, index, and middle fingers. Be very careful when interacting with Specimen 3 this year.
Specimen 4 – El Fazlouk
He’s been middling a very heated argument about how half-ass-ing Ramadan is unethical, and religiously incorrect, and that this is the reason why he would not fast. A self-righteous, “Goddamn hypocrites” sigh came out with his breath every time someone tried to reason with him on why he can’t not half-ass Ramadan! Don’t waste time arguing with Specimen 4 like last year, nothing but a slippery slope for the both of you.
Specimen 5 – El Sari7a
She was the first one in the office, looking well-rested and tidied up, and the first thing she did was order Break Fast. See what I did there? Ramadan is not her thing, and she really did not want to be sneaking around for one of three reasons. She either thought this made her seem badass, she thought it was too teenage-like to sneak around, or she’s been trying to force the people around her to accept her for all she is. She did seem pretty bad-ass for openly defying a taboo.
Specimen 6 – El Sayem
This one was watching all the former specimens, and you felt the guilt pouring out of his eyes for judging them. He showed up to work so no days would get cut from his paycheck, yet all he was doing in the office was reading from his pocket mos7af and praying in the corner/prayer area. He seemed too busy for social interaction, and you thought that was why your mutual boss was hesitant to say anything about his inefficiency. Oh well.
Specimen 7 – El indifferent
Poor specimen 7 seemed as functional and neutral as specimen 5, and this is why he was carrying all the work load that specimens 2 and 6 left hanging. This year, help him out w mat3melsh nafsak mesh men Sharm. Ok? Ok.